


Shards of Glass

by njostn



Series: Tumblr Prompts / Commissions [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Aaron Minyard Centric, Aaron Minyard is a Mess, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, I Hate to Say That, Inspired by 13 Reasons Why (TV), Neil Josten is Trying, POV Aaron Minyard, Past Sexual Assault, Post-The Raven King, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23791126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/njostn/pseuds/njostn
Summary: Based on a tumblr prompt I was sent."If you watch 13 Reasons Why and saw the part where Justin Foley stands up, can we recreate that moment but it's Aaron and everyone is like WTF and Andrew is PISSED and Aaron tells him about one of Tilda's bfs?"It's a bit different because it's two parts but... Alas, here it is.
Relationships: Neil Josten & Aaron Minyard, Neil Josten & Andrew Minyard
Series: Tumblr Prompts / Commissions [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1713985
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	Shards of Glass

**Author's Note:**

> tws ; sexual assault, murder, drug and alcohol use, panic attacks  
> take care of yourselves and do not read if sensitive to those.

tw ; sexual assault, drug use, murder, panic attack

> **_"I am the kind of broken that only comes when so many pieces are shattered off the whole that it forgets it ever painted a picture at all." -Tyler Knotts Gregson_ **

Everyone knew what had happened to Andrew: His history, why he acts the way he does, everything that had ever happened to him.

They knew what Aaron had done to save him, that he had killed Drake Spear with Neil’s exy racquet and had no regrets.

They knew Neil was there to comfort Andrew while Aaron panicked over the dead body at his feet.

Everyone knew that. But they don’t truly  _ know _ anything. No one ever does until it’s too late.

The hospital waiting room is quiet and he feels like he is being watched. He always felt like he was being watched. He looks up and fights a glare. Neil’s curious gaze was trained on him, studying him with ease.

He hates that Neil thinks he knows him because he just  _ doesn’t. _ He never will.

But maybe… Maybe he could try.

He continues to stare at Neil, watching as he opens his mouth wordlessly. Aaron knows what that feels like. Of course he does.

He stands up and Neil flinches, looking down at Aaron’s hands as if the racquet would still be there, as if there would still be blood splattered across his knuckles and up his forearms. But Aaron had scrubbed himself raw until he was sure the blood would be _ his _ and not Drake’s. 

He sits next to Neil, on the edge of the seat. Neil looks at him through his lashes, probably still feeling the effects of the day. Of the last  _ hour. _

Aaron’s mouth feels dry and he stares at his hands. “I don’t,” he starts, clearing his throat when his voice refuses to work. “I’ve never felt so angry,” Aaron tries again, looking in Neil’s direction but avoiding his eyes. Always avoiding the eyes. He learned that young.

They can see through your eyes. Don’t show them.

Neil looks taken aback at Aaron’s sudden closeness, at how open he is being. Aaron doesn’t know where his surge of confidence comes from, but he trusts Neil.

He doesn’t know why.

“When I was seven,” he starts, eyes falling to the ground, his feet barely touching as he sits back slightly. “When I was seven my mom, Tilda,” he clarifies softly. “Tilda she… Well, you know. She was always coked up or drunk or something.” Aaron stops talking, looking thoughtfully out the window. “I took after her I think,” he says quietly. But that wasn’t the point.

“You don’t have to-”

Aaron shakes his head, cutting Neil’s sentence off. “I don’t have to, but I need to. I want to.”

Neil nods, and Aaron is thankful when he doesn’t press on. “She had a boyfriend. She had a lot of boyfriends. But him… He was different.” Aaron presses his palms into his thighs hard enough to leave bruises. He’s never told anyone this before, and he hadn’t expected to tell Neil first.

Neil’s eyes are wild and his hand hovers over Aaron’s for barely a second before he backs down again. Aaron noticed, of course he did. His eyes have been trained on his hands this entire time. He didn’t need the touch, he didn’t desire it.

He wondered if he ever would.

“Her boyfriend was a dick but she needed him like she needed meth, cocaine, tequila, whatever the fuck she was on.” He bites his lip and only then does he notice how his left eye is twitching. His head aches from the fluorescent lighting but he pushes through like he always does.

“Aaron,” Neil’s voice is laced with concern, and Aaron knows if he looks up he won’t be able to look away. His quiet timber almost soothes Aaron. Almost.

“I was only seven, you know? I didn’t realize, didn’t know it was wrong,” Aaron shakes his head and this time Neil does touch Aaron’s hand. His touch is grounding. It isn’t what he’s used to and it isn’t what he expected it to feel like.

He’s used to tight squeezes against his wrists, chafing and burning and holding him still. His chest is tight and the room spins. And then Neil’s thumb touches his pulse point and he’s back in the present, breathing and aching and just  _ so fucking alive. _

“He didn’t… touch me at first.” Aaron’s eyesight is blurry. He thinks he might be crying. He wants to check for tears on his cheeks but his hands feel stuck, like they’re being held above his head and it’s pushing and pushing and pushing until finally he complies.

“He didn’t touch me,” Aaron repeats. It’s dumb, he knows, but he needs to say it. “But I…” his voice cracks and his hands are shaking and now Neil is holding both of his wrists and he feels trapped. He feels broken. He chokes back a sob. “I had to touch him. He said he’d hurt her if I didn’t.” His chest heaves but he holds it down. “She was my mom. What was I supposed to do? She was my mom…” There’s a flash of white behind his eyes and he’s suddenly leaning forward, tears falling and chest heaving at full force.

Why does everything feel so heavy? He wants to feel weightless again. That’s all he ever wanted.

Neil’s hand is on the back of his neck and something breaks loose in him. “Fuck,” he mumbles, looking up at Neil. He blinks sluggishly. “I didn’t know it was bad. Not until… Not until Andrew told me. I didn’t know and I should have.”

Neil makes a defeated noise and Aaron moves away quickly. He should have known Neil would be disgusted. Who wouldn’t be? 

He stands too quickly and stars appear and he feels so broken. He always feels broken.

“Aaron,” Neil says, and Aaron tastes salt on his tongue. His breathing is shallow but his heart is pounding. He’s so fucking alive and he hates it. Every. Fucking. Second.

“Aaron, sit down,” Neil tries again, but Aaron can’t hear him. He can’t hear anything as the room circles around him.

It’s so easy to get lost but he can never forget. He’s lost and he’s stuck and he just can’t do it.

And then he’s falling back into reality at full force. He’s on his knees and Neil is crouching in front of him, not caring at how strange this must be, at how much attention they’re bringing to themselves.

“Aaron,” Neil says, carding his hand through his hair slowly. Aaron’s eyes flutter. “Have you told Andrew?” Aaron shakes his head and Neil swallows a sound of defeat. “Anyone at all?”

“Only you.” Aaron hates how it sounds as soon as it passes his lips. He’s shuddering and his eyes are closed.

What a broken mess he is. Always broken.

“Aaron,” Neil tries again, “it’s going to be okay.”

Aaron is silent but his breathing isn’t as labored now. “It’s going to be okay because I’ll make sure of it.”

Aaron nods a silent thank you, straightening his back and rolling his neck. He blinks four times, wiping his left eye and then his right eye. He blinks twice and stands, his knees locking into place.

Broken, maybe. But that wasn’t everything.

He repeated the words he knew best in his head as he sat silently next to Neil.

_ I am Aaron Minyard. I am me and that’s all there is. I am my own person. I am not my past and I never will be. _

_ I may be broken, but it takes more strength to be broken than to be whole. _

**Author's Note:**

> this was super hard to write. i hate hurting aaron worse than he already was. but it was also fun too. i really liked this idea and this au.


End file.
